Online Dating in 2012

Happy New Year one and all. We have left it a few days before posting up about New Year and all the resolutions made with best intentions. For many it’s to get down the gym, I know, I was in there the other day and it was packed! This time last month it was like a ghost town in there!

Another common New Years resolution is to find love, and we certainly see a big jump in new sign-ups over all of our dating sites at this time of year. This is good for our members old and new and we encourage singles to get into online dating and see how fun and easy it can be.

When we think about all of the common resolutions such as online dating, going to the gym, spending more time with the family we wonder why we need a focal point in the year to decide to make these important changes in our lives. It doesn’t matter what time of year it is, we can all make important changes when we feel READY which should hopefully mean it is a long term commitment and not one that fades out by the start of March…….which is when my gym will probably return to a ghost town once again.

Have a great 2012, make the changes you want when the time is right.

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Happy Christmas and Happy Holidays

Well here we are already, the 23rd of December 2011. We would like to thank all of our members across all of our networks in all 4 countries we now run match making sites in and wish you all the best in 2012.

The end of December and first few months of the New Year see the highest new member sign up and member communication over the course of a year. It is a great time to decide to get involved with online dating. Why not make the change this year and take the first steps to getting back on the dating scene. Online dating is the quickest, easiest and safest way to meet new like minded local people and above all puts the fun back into meeting new people.

We look forward to making even more matches possible in 2012 and wish all our singles the very best of luck. Our final though of 2011…….have fun:)

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December equals busy

Are we allowed to say ‘Happy Christmas’ yet? The shops have been selling cards and decorations since the middle of October but already the panic has started to set in. My weekly food shop has turned into an ordeal as I fight for aisle space with people pushing round trolleys stuff full of turkey foil, nuts selection packs, tins of biscuits and several different types of pudding.

Christmas is a time for families and being with loved ones. It is also one of our busy months here at Going Out Online. We generally see a steady increase in new sign ups and site usage across all of dating networks as the 25th approaches.

Here in the UK is has turned rather cold which is quite nice at this festive time. I know our members in South Africa and Australia are now in summer time and I have yet to experience Christmas dinner in the 30 degree heat. One thing I know that if Father Christmas is partial to a bit of online dating there is no way he is going to turn up to a date at this time of year wear that massive red suite if he decides to woe one of our South African or Australian members!

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What can I bring to a relationship?

Often thinking about what you can bring to a relationship is as important as thinking about what you want from a relationship. In many ways what you put into a relationship you are often looking to get out one, for example if you are romantic in a relationship you are probably looking for the same from the other person. This is the same for a whole range of emotions and feelings such as love, trust, affection, fun, stability, respect etc.

Try to think about times you have brought the above things to a relationship, a time you where loving, fun, trustworthy etc. Sometimes you might actually struggle to find an example that shows you have been offering a chosen emotion or feeling to a past relationship. This can prove very helpful when you come to think about what you want as well as changing what you can offer in a new relationship.

You might not have found a relationship you want yet because you have not been able to offer what that relationship requires. Honesty is the best solution; it goes back to the ‘receiving what you give’ ethos.

You might not actually be able to offer a certain something to a relationship and in this case I would say you need to re-evaluate if this emotion is something you actually want to receive from a relationship. Some emotions, such as freedom and security for example, are in conflict with each other. You need to put these into order of how importance each one is to you and avoid the conflict.

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Self pity and confidence

Profiles, emails or instant messages which give a clue that the sender feels sorry for themselves and are after a sympathy date are well worth avoiding. I cannot stress enough how unattractive self pity is!

Messages such as “I know I am fat and unattractive and you are probably going to ignore this email, but thought I would say hello anyway!” are a definite no no, what is fun or inviting about that? We would say that the sender of such a message is not ready for online dating.

We all have good and bad points, but it’s important to concentrate on the good ones. Online dating is all about being honest but also about having fun and making contact with other like minded people. Pity can creep into our lives for many reasons, sometimes we aren’t even aware of it. As hard as it may be try turning that self pity into confidence and write a fun profile which highlights all your good points. People will accept you for who you are and the ones that don’t aren’t worth your time.

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VIP because you’re worth it

We like to think we treat all of our dating members as VIP’s, we believe you all deserve the best customer services, great site search features and modern easy to use secure websites. With this in mind we have introduced our final bolt-on called VIP. This bolt-on can be found on all of our websites across all countries.

Get the ultimate exposure with an attention grabbing VIP search listing. Make yourself stand out from the crowd. Whenever you appear in search results your photo will be highlighted. Go on, get yourself all the attention!

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A little seasonal gift

We are pleased to announce a little seasonal gift for our UK basic members to celebrate bonfire night. From midday today (Friday 4th November), basic members on our UK networks will have the opportunity to purchase a 3-day trial for one penny. The offer expires at midnight on Sunday, as they say ‘Penny for the guy’

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I wonder if they read my mail?

We speak to our members and also draw from our own personal experience of online dating. We spoke about bolt-ons in our last post and we are pleased to announce another new bolt-on which should be very useful when it comes to one of the biggest online dating questions.

So you’ve sent a mail to someone who takes your fancy and then you wait. Why have they not replied straight away? They are showing as online, are they not interested? Well chances are they probably haven’t read it yet and this is where the new bolt-on comes into place. You will receive a notification when a mail you have sent has been opened/read by the other person. This cuts out a lot of the guess work and lets you make the most of your online dating experience.

This new bolt-on is now available on all of our dating sites, we hope you enjoy it.

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Dating Bolt-ons

The free membership offered on all of our dating sites offers free registration plus free profile and photo updates. We feel this gives our members a good opportunity to try out our dating sites and get a good feel for the service we provide and the advantages of online dating.

We have added a few membership options which allow our basic members to explore the full features and functions which we offer and improve their online dating experience. These bolt-ons offer an alternative to full membership and lets members try our sites before taking the plunge. In the current economically climate we feel these bolt-ons offer great value for money.

An example of this new offer is the ‘Contact For Free’ Bolt-on allowing users to be messaged by both full and basic members.

Another option is the ‘Reply For Free’ Bolt-on which allows basic free members to reply to full members when they message you, which they will because lets face it you’re hot stuff:)

These bolt-ons are offered on all of our dating sites so why not have a look and see how they can benefit you – Click Here

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Australian Elite Dating

Calling all Australian singles, we have arrived. Elite Oz Dating  brings our premium online dating to the land of opportunity. Our Elite dating brand has proved so popular in the UK, South Africa, Ireland and US that we are really proud to final bring it to professional successful singles in Oz.

Elite Oz Dating has all the same great search features and functions as our other sites and provides a safe, secure and discreet online dating introduction service for our exclusive members. By working with our White Label Dating partner we are able to offer a site which is packed with 1000′s of local like minded professional singles looking for someone to share their success with.

We have elite members all over the globe who are experiencing our ‘elite’ dating service with dedicated customer service and easy to use well designed websites. Australia is an amazing country where anyone can work hard and achieve, if you are one of Australia’s high flyers why not check out a dating service designed especially for you at

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Mobile Online Dating

I remember when dial up was the only way to get online and that little blue bar at the bottom of your web browser ruled your life, loading up a text only web page would take 4 hours! Things have moved on somewhat in the last 15 years and now streaming video whilst downloading music and performing a host of other tasks is seamless and takes seconds.

The same can be said for using the internet whilst out and about on your mobile phone. The first few mobile devices where to be honest, rather rubbish. This was partly down to the device but also the network coverage. It is fair to say mobile internet has caught up in a much shorter timeframe and the new generation of mobile devices offer a real alternative to getting online.

The screen size of mobile devices means a different approach needs to be taken when designing mobile websites. There are indeed a whole host of new mobile standards and guidelines which mean we should see more and more mobile specific websites which are designed to work and look good when viewed from your mobile phone.

With all this in mind we are really pleased to announce that we will be offering mobile versions of all of our online dating sites in the next 2 months. Over time we will introduce software which will identify if our members are using their desktop or mobile and direct them to the correct landing page. All the same great dating features will be offered but the layout and design will be fitting with whichever device you are using. We want your online dating experience to as enjoyable as possible, by offering a mobile service we are aiming to allow our members to fit online dating into their busy ‘mobile’ lives.

We will give regular updates on the progress with our mobile online dating over the next few weeks.

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Bum warmers are go!

Its official, today, Monday 17th October was the first day of winter in 2011. I jumped into the car this morning thinking about a few seasonal (I’m not going to mention the ‘C’ word yet) updates for our dating sites and it hit me…COLD!

I started the engine and went for some wiper action to clear the screen; it was only then that the true horror of the situation hit me. This wasn’t just a bit of condensation on the front windscreen, this was in fact ICE! Panic set in, I stabbed wildly at the heater controls convinced my fingers where going to fall off. All this did was blow cold air in my face, heater fail! It was only then that I decided to resort to what I feel is the best invention on modern cars, bum warmers are go go go.

Soon I was sat there with a toasty bum convinced I’d wet myself…heaven!

I have no idea how any of this links into online dating, but given this is a dating blog I’ll try anyways! I text the terrible events of the morning to my partner, who I meet via an online dating site a few years back, her reply ‘You loser, where did I find you? Hugs x x x’…true love I think you’ll agree.

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I fancy you….yes YOU!

We’ve touched upon body language and how important it can be. There are a number of signals which we give off which let someone know we fancy them. Rather worryingly for us men recent research has shown that we are truly hopeless at spotting these signals where as women are very good at it.

So chaps well done for getting that first date and good choice on the restaurant but chances are you have sat through the main course completely oblivious to your dates advances. Body language needs to be genuine, warm and relaxed which is something that apparently us blokes are rather rubbish at spotting.

Here are a few little guidelines for both sexes which should not only help you flirt and give off good body signals but also help you spot the signals which others are giving you.

1 – Position your body towards your date, lean forward a little bit and tilt you head to one side slightly.

2 – Look into your date’s eyes for a few seconds; look away briefly before looking back for a few more seconds.

3 – Touch your hair or face

4 – Rather obvious but smile, nothing to over the top.

If you use or more importantly see these signals used together I reckon you might just be on to a winner!

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I’m to busy doing the cleaning!

I have one day off in the next 2 weeks, one day, just one! I have no doubt this day will be taken up with general house work and making sure I have clean socks for the few weeks after that. This doesn’t really leave much time to relax and even less time for going out and meeting people!

Online dating solves many issues associated with living a busy life and socialising. Online dating is something that can be done at a time which suits me; it can be done in that spare 5 minutes after I’ve wrestled with a mountain laundry or for a few hours in the evening after work. Online dating can be picked up and put down as and when I have the time, it leaves me in control of how fast or slow I want to take things. If I have a few mad days planned I can put it on the back burner and concentrate on other things.

The only question I find myself asking when thinking about the next few weeks is do I really have the time to be in a relationship or do I need something a bit more casual. Online dating of course can also help me find both…at a time which fits in with me. It would be nice to find someone to share all this house work with though!

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Body Language Mirroring

So you have exchanged winks and messages, plucked up the courage to talk on the phone and the day has come when you are going to meet up. This is the point where the online part of ‘online dating’ is not so online and this can send people into panic stations. We have decided to write a few posts about body language, confidence and a few other bits of advice about finally meeting up with someone.

Today we are going to mention an easy and simple body language technique called mirroring. You may not know what it is but you’ve probably been doing it all your life. Because you’ve been doing it all your life you are probably quite good at it and once you learn how to understand this new language it will change the way you read people.

The best way to understand mirroring is to do a bit of people watching. While we are not suggesting you set up a stake out in your local café or sit on a park bench with eye holes cut out of a newspaper it is very easy to watch people in social environments.

What are you looking for? Well as the name suggests you are looking for a mirror image, a copy cat if you will. Notice how in a couple one person leans forward and the other leans forward as well, or one leans backward and then the other leans backward. Other actions might be cross their hands or tilt their heads, if the other person does it you’ve just seen mirroring and the couple probably don’t know they are doing it much the same as you and I.

So how can this help you? Well mirroring body language can be used as a tool for testing someone out and building up a rapport. Being similar creates a feeling of ease, comfort and being understood.

So you can use the power of mirroring to create these feelings in the one you are mirroring. They’ll then subconsciously link all those feelings to you because you are the one actively mirroring. All you have to do to mirror someone is to assume the same posture, do the same movements with your hands and use your body in a similar fashion to theirs.

Mirroring can be split into 3 main areas, the first is following. This is doing the movements after them, let them lead. This will make them feel more comfortable and relaxed with you, and eventually more drawn to you. It’s important to try and be as natural as possible with following, at first it may seems obvious to you what you are doing but in reality the other person will not notice. Pacing is another method of mirroring, it is very similar to following but where your actions are more in time as if you are almost leading. Pacing is almost as if you are both doing the movements simultaneously. If you’ve done your secret body language mirroring right with good following and pacing then you are ready to reap the rewards. You are now ready to lead the other person and this will show how if a good connection has been made between you as a couple. Try tilting you head, blinking or even breathing deeply, if they copy you it shows they have a genuine interest in you as they are now subconsciously mirroring you.

The only thing we will say is try and be natural and keep focus on the conversation with mirroring happening in the background, while it’s all well and good to use body language techniques its pointless if are talking a load of gibberish!

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Tuesday’s Dating Tips

We can’t promise this will always happen on a Tuesday, in fact the whole Tuesday thing was more of a coincidence! Here are a few tips to help you survive online dating, some rather obvious but often missed by singles we speak to.

Create opportunities for dates

Rather than standing back and waiting for love to come your way, create opportunities to meet people. Internet dating will give you the biggest opportunity to chat to loads of people and accept invitations to new events. Get chatting to strangers, which is not as scary as it sounds as the internet leaves you in control, you never know when one might turn into a date.

Go on dates

Obvious but the more dates you go on the more likely to meet that special someone. The date doesn’t have to be with your ideal partner for it to be fun and for you to learn something from it and build confidence. I know of many happy relationships where that first impression was not the best.

The more people you ask on dates the more dates you get!

Ask any successful dater and they will tell you the reason they go on more dates is because they either ask more people out or say yes to more dates. If you ask someone on a date and they say no just move on. Every time you get a NO you are one step closer to a YES and finding the special someone!

Be honest

If you pretend to be something you are not how will you get people to know and like the real you. If you are looking for something casual or serious make that clear, and if you are dating a few people make that clear also. Treat others how you would like to be treated and you can’t go wrong.

Game playing doesn’t work

I don’t believe in game playing, such as playing hard to get or having stupid rules about texting: e.g. not seeing someone at the weekend if they haven’t asked you out by Wednesday night. These games block true intimacy and they stop you being who you truly are. Games and rules can also be confusing and send mixed signals to potential partners. Be straight with people, be keen and be honest.

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Emerald Love

Despite St Patrick’s Day being in March it’s all gone green here at Going Out Online. Elite IE Dating was successfully launch over the weekend expanding our ‘Elite’ branded online dating sites which we currently offer in the UK, South Africa and US.

Elite IE Dating takes advantage of our partnership with White Label Dating giving our members access 1000′s of other local singles. Just under 70% of Ireland’s population are now online with the average user spending 18 hours per month using the internet. There really has been no better time for our Irish members to give online dating a try.

The Elite sites offer premium online dating to 1000′s of successful singles. We like to think our Irish members are a cut above the rest, successful individuals who strive for the best and their dating should be no different. By attracting other executive singles we are able to offer a targeted online dating experience allowing you to meet your perfect match.

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Is to much choice a bad thing?

Online dating has never been so popular, figures suggest 5 million Britons have used an online dating site within the last 12 months and the industry is worth almost 1 BILLION dollars in North America alone. Surely this makes finding your perfect match online easy…well sometimes!

Here at Going Out Online we bang on about how online dating gives you the opportunity to meet singles in your local area who you might not find via conventional dating. The internet provides a great meeting place for our members but with this comes much much much more choice. We offer two services to help you narrow down your search for that someone special, because sometimes to much of a good thing can be bad and choice is no different. For us it’s all about providing good quality matches with like minded singles.

The first of these services is our advanced searching and personality profiling features offered on all of our dating sites. We have found that honest singles are more likely to find what they are looking for regardless of it being a long term relationship or something more casual. These features help narrow down the 1000′s of singles you will find in your area.

The other way we are able to help our members find what they are looking for is by offering targeted dating sites. One example would be our Elite branded sites such as Elite UK and Elite SA dating. These sites are aimed towards professional singles looking for a relationship with other successful professionals. Another and very different example of niche online dating sites is Epic Dot Dating, this site is aimed at singles who share a passion for computers and technology. Niche dating sites are designed to give its members a tailored introduction service with other like minded singles which gives you all the benefits of online dating without some of the issues which can be found on the large generic general dating sites.

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Milk Bottle Legs

It’s official, it’s the hottest October 1st on record! It did feel rather strange sitting out in the sun earlier when only the other day I was greeted with Christmas decorations in my local supermarket!

The sunshine certainly brings more people out and about and they all seem just that little bit happier than normal. I think this hot weather lends itself to more conventional ways (local pub, club, park, leisure centre etc) of dating purely because of the greater number of people you will meet. Who wants to be stuck behind a computer screen when they could be topping up the tan after all? I’m certainly sitting here writing this looking at my milk bottle legs wondering why I’m not back outside, well that and cursing the person who invented shorts!

In many ways it’s always sunny when you are using an online dating site. No matter what the weather our members are always ‘out and about’ online and because of the nature of online dating you are going to be able to search and meet people who you might just never meet via conventional dating.

But if like me you are eager to get out there in your shorts why not take the mobile and search for you next hot date? Which leaves one question, do women really like milk bottle legs?

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Welcome to Going Out Online

Finally here we are, the blog is sorted, our Facebook page is finished and Twitter is good to go. We will be adding a fair amount of content over the next few days, hopefully some of it quite helpful and some of it a funny insight into the ups and downs we have personally experienced whilst dating online.

In the mean time why not have a look at what we do in our About Us, Dating Sites and Why Online Dating pages.

Happy Dating

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